Conan the Barbarian
John Milius's jingoistic direction and pulpy screenplay fit perfectly into this film version of the Robert E. Howard fantasy story of the sword and sorcery hero, Conan the Barbarian. Complementing Mulius's heavy metal production is Arnold Schwarzenegger's leaden acting, which in any other context would be deadly, but here (as in The Terminator) corresponds nicely with the whole sonorous project. The story begins when a horde of rampaging warriors massacre the parents of young Conan and enslave the young child for years on The Wheel of Pain. The Wheel of Pain seems to have as its only purpose the building up of Conan's muscles, so it's no surprise that one day Conan grows up to become Arnold Schwarzenegger. As the sole survivor of the childhood massacre, Conan is released from slavery and taught the ancient arts of fighting. Transforming himself into a killing machine, Conan travels into the wilderness to seek vengeance on Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones), the man responsible for killing his family. In the wilderness, Conan takes up with the thieves Valeria (Sandahl Bergman) and Subota (Gerry Lopez). The trio comes upon a weird snake cult, linked to Doom, and Conan wants to trek off to Doom's mountain retreat to kill him. But he is prevented from doing that by King Osrik (Max Von Sydow), who wants the trio of warriors to help rescue his daughter who has joined Doom in the hills. more..
Director: John Milius
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Earl Jones, Max von Sydow, Sandahl Bergman, Ben Davidson
It's easy to criticise Conan. Cheesy. Dated. And ever-so-slightly fascist (Conan is the ultimate Aryan: punishing the weak and defending the strong, while looking great in thigh-high boots). But while all that's true, for Arnie fans, the film still rocks.
I liked a lot of it myself, and with me, a few broadswords and leather jerkins go a long way.
Schwarzenegger has probably never been better-cast.
A series of meaningless adventures punctuated with a lot of clanky, very bloody swordplay, Conan the Barbarian is best remembered for a scene in which Schwarzenegger punches out a camel.
Director John Milius does a nice job of setting up the initial story.... But for whatever reasons, has a minimum of dialog and fails to convey much about the character through his actions.
Best Actress
Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror Films (1983)
Best DVD Audio Commentary
DVD Exclusive Awards (2001)
New Star of the Year in a Motion Picture - Female
Golden Globes (1983)
Worst Actor
Razzie Awards (1983)
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